What if Santa was a Lady?
Ever wonder Christmas would be like if Santa was a lady? Yes, a female Santa? While it goes against all tradition, there are many reasons why a woman would enjoy, and benefit, from being Santa Claus. Just imagine . . .
Top 20 Reasons a Lady Would Want to be Santa
1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.
2. There would be no more early morning decisions about what
to wear to the office.
3. You could grow a gut the size of Hawaii knowing it is all
part of the job.
4. Just buy one big, black belt, and brass buckle, and you'd
be accessorized for life.
5. There would be no reason to have your colors done.
6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, regardless of
your behavior.
7. If people comment that your belly jiggled when you
laughed...like a bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with
your purse.
8. You would always work in sensible footwear.
9. There would be no need to play office politics; a hearty
ho-ho-ho would remind everyone who's boss.
10. You wouldn't need to buy an expensive briefcase.
If Santa was a Lady
11. No one would dare ask you for a ride to work.
12. You would never again have to wear pantyhose. YES!
13. You would not need to make trips to the vending
machine. You could just snack on milk and cookies all
day long. (FOR FREE)!
14. You would never be asked to take an early retirement
package.
15. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your
children would adore you; even your teenagers would want to
sit in your lap.
16. You would be guaranteed the best chair in the office.
17. Age discrimination would never be an issue again.
18. You would never grab the wrong coat on your way out the
door.
19. No one would ask to see your job description.
20. And the elves would actually listen to your instructions
with enthusiasm, instead of asking you to stop blocking the
X-Box screen like your kids.