The Average Parent

How do YOU compare? Are you the average parent? Have you shared the same child-rearing experiences as so many other parents? Do you then share those funny, frustrating, and unique experiences with other parents, and even single friends?

Are You the Average Parent?

The average parent has eaten their weight in Girl Scout Cookies.

The average parent has at least 2 pizza delivery companies on their speed dial.

The average parent has prepared more than 10,000 servings of macaroni and cheese.

The average parent can produce from their pocket or purse at least 3 hot wheels, 12 Lego® blocks, and a Barbie® shoe at any given time.

The average parent has made 987 peanut and butter school lunch sandwiches, packed in 488 apples, and 386 pudding cups into their child's lunches.

The average parent secretly hopes that whoever thought up 3 months for summer vacation gets attacked by a pack of marauding wolves.

The average parent knows that a suspiciously sweet, "Mommy, I love you" means, " I have just decorated your new carpet with all your make-up."  (or even my little brother!)

kids making faces

The Average Parent

The average parent is able to drive to and from 3 soccer fields, 2 Olympic swimming pools, 4 baseball diamonds, 1 football practice field, and 4 band practice rooms on autopilot and all hours of day and night. Often within the same 24 hours.

The average parent has participated in no less than 84 extended formal debates, lasting over 15 minutes each, with every one of their children near the bedtime hours of 7 to 9 pm.

The average parent lives for the moment when their children are old enough for them to say:  "I hope you have a child just like you someday."

The average parent has collected 9 teeth from each of their children, and left behind some coin or currency, to further the innocence of childhood tooth fairy dreams.

The average parent has said at least 123 times:  "It's time to turn off the Xbox, Television, Computer, Play Station, (or other electronic device), and go out and play. It's a beautiful day outside!"

Being a Parent

Being a parent means knowing how to open up a Snickers bar without making a sound.

Being a parent means you each your dinner cold after sitting down to the dinner in a restaurant with your toddler.

Being a parent means the tools you hung on those pegboard hooks in the garage have invisible little legs. They were able to jump off the hooks, and wander around the garage, basement, and back yard all by themselves.

boy hit with cold water

Being a Parent

Being a parent means the amount of food you baby dribbles, splatters, or spits upon your shirt, is directly proportional to the newness of that shirt, or the amount of time you have worn it since it came out of the washer and dryer.

Being a parent means that no matter how childproof you make your backyard swing set and play castle, your children will find ways to walk on the tip top portion of the structure.

Being a parent means you are always ready to whip out you phone and share the latest photo of video of your little pride and joy.

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