Best Sleeping-at-Work Excuses
It happens. You fall asleep at your desk. You fall asleep in a meeting at work. You raise your head to see your boss looking right at you! The "I'm just resting my eyes" excuse won't cut it. You're caught. What are you going to say when you get caught sleeping a work?
10 Great Excuses for Sleeping at Work
- "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
- Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?
- "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
- "The coffee machine is broken."
- "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
- "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
- "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"
- "I was cross-training for telecommuting."
- "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
- "Wasn't sleeping. Was trying to pick up a contact lens without hands."
10 More Great Excuses for Falling Asleep at Work
- "It's okay: I'm still billing the client."
- "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
- "This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to."
- "I was working smarter, not harder."
- "Whew! I must have left the top off the liquid paper."
- "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
- "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
- "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
- "I'm actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP).
- "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"
More Excuses if you Fall Asleep at Work A Lot!
"The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun, so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot."
"I was just testing my eyelids for holes. So far I haven't found any, but I must keep looking!"
"I was hypnotized by my screen saver."
"Geez, I thought you were gone for the day."
"I was just waiting for the mighty Win-2000 computer you gave me to finish compiling the data on the work efficiency project."
"I'm increasing my colleagues productivity by reducing my oxygen consumption."
"I was up all night tracking down hackers that were trying to break into our system. Luckily I was able to hold them off!"
"I was testing my cubicles to ensure the sleeping conditions satisfy ISO-9000 norms."
"Me, snoring? No, that was my floppy drive!"
"Statistics prove that people who take a short nap after lunch get more accomplished than people who don't."
"I got wrapped up with my project last night and haven't gone home yet, I must have dozed off."
"Recent developments in computer monitor design allow me to project information directly onto my eyelids."
Falling Asleep at Work Dissected
Begin with the premise: I fall asleep at work a lot. I need to address this behavior. Yet I like falling asleep, it gives me that extra edge, it renews my energy. So, how can I nap at work without guilt or consequences?
There are four primary elements I need to consider to address this unique situation. First, when am I most likely to fall asleep at work? Second, where am I most likely to fall asleep at work? Next, why am I mostly likely to fall asleep at work. And finally, Who is likely to catch me falling asleep at work?
We'll begin with when. That's easy. While I can easily fall asleep anytime, I am especially prone to falling asleep at work after too much time of close work on the computer. And when I am in a meeting with a single speaker droning on and on and on and on, whoops, got caught in a loop there. Yes, too much of one tedious thing at a time is when it happens.
Next is where. That's easy too. Anywhere. (I'm a good sleeper, years of practice). Well I usually fall asleep at my desk or at a conference room table (with other people in the room). What's in common? I'm asleep. Oh yeah, I'm seated. Hmm, maybe I should stand up more.
Third is why. Why do I fall asleep at work? Lack of nighttime sleep? Boredom? Monotony. Hey, did you ever notice "monotony" is monotonous? No really, think about it. M.Ohhh-N.Ohhh-T.Ohhh-Knee. Okay, so the culprit is a lack of viable distractions. Squirrel !
Fourth is who will likely catch me? That's easy, Bob. Bob's my boss. He always catches me. Sometimes I think he gets bored and looks for me, just to catch me sleeping.
Okay, now that we've identified where, when, and why I fall asleep at work, and who catches me, what's next. I need an action plan. Okay. I need to stand up more and get away from my computer. I need to take notes and doodle in meetings. And I need to find a better place to sneak away for a nap, or learn how to hold my head in my hands at my computer while sleeping, and still be able to respond promptly when interrupted from my nap.
Boy, all that thinking and typing made me sleepy. Excuse me for a moment, be right back.