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How I learned how to mind my own business
I was walking along the sidewalk next to the mental hospital last week, and all of the patients were chanting, "13 . . .13 . . . 13 . . . 13".
The fence was too high to see over the top to find out what they were chanting about, so I looked for another way to see in. I spotted a knot hole and walked over to see for myself. The knot hole was just about eye level, so I leaned into it for a peek.
That's when I got poked in the eye with a stick.
And then the chanting continued, "14 . . . 14 . . . 14 . . . 14 . . .".
Two elderly gentlemen were golfing, when one drove his ball near the edge of the course pond. When we reached down to retrieve his ball, he noticed a delicate frog looking up at him.
When the frog did not hop away, and indeed hopped closer to him, he lifted the frog and held it in the palm of his hand. Upon doing so, and to his surprise, the frog spoke to him.
"Oh gentle man, I am so fortunate you have found me."
"You see, I am not really a frog. An evil spirit cast a spell upon me. I am a beautiful young princess. It you kiss me, I will be made whole again."
The fellow thought for a moment, looked at the frog, and carefully placed it in his pocket.
Arriving back at the clubhouse, he took the frog out to show to others.
The frog-princess said: "Aren't you going to kiss me and restore me?"
"Well, no ma'am, I'm not." he replied.
"At my age, a talking frog is much more interesting than a woman who thinks she is a princess!"