All Time Best School Excuses

"I have a headache." Did you ever miss a day of school growing up? What were you best excuses? Did your Mom write them for you? Or did you write them yourself and sign your Mom's name? Or are you still in school and regularly looking for a great excuse?

Why I Wasn't At School Yesterday: Please Excuse . . .

My son is under a Doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please excuse John being absent on Jan 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

kitty looking from a tree

Funny School Excuses

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Meagan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school today. He has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe well, you know . . . . .

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

little boy hiding his eyes

School Excuse Slips

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

And This is Why He (She) Should be Excused

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat. Her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

"Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn't remember where the school was."

"Scott didn't practice last night because he lost his tooth in the mouthpiece of his trumpet."

"It was my fault Mike did not do his math homework last night. His pencil broke and we do not have a pencil sharpener at home. Yes, he was home all night!"

boy smiling at the beach

School Excuse Fun

"Henry stayed home because he had a stomach ache from eating too much frosting."

"Ronnie could not finish his work last night. He said his brain was tired of spelling."

"Diane was late on Wednesday. She fell asleep on the bus and was taken back to the bus yard."

"Eric hurt his knee in a karate tournament over the weekend. He won his age group, but was in too much pain to do his math assignment."

"Bettye did not do her homework last night because we went out to a party and did not get home until late. If she is tired, please let her sleep during recess time."

"Marty wasn't in school yesterday because he thought it was Saturday."

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