- Kids do say the darndest things.
- And they say those things everywhere.
- And that includes saying funny things in church.
- And Then Little Johnny Said:
Kids in Church
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?”
“Sixteen,” the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. ”How do you know that?”
”Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.”
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
"but deliver us from E-mail."
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!”
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle’s picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
”The flight to Egypt,” said Kyle.
”I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,” Miss. Terri said. “But who’s the fourth person?”
”Oh, that’s Pontius-the Pilot."
The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly; do you say prayers before eating?”
”No sir,” little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to. My Mom is a good cook.”
A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, ”I descend into hell!” A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through.
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, ”I descend into hell!” the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: “Hallelujah! Hell is full!”
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, “After a worship service at
First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a
fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son
to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon,
she leaned over and whispered, ‘If you don’t be quiet, Pastor
Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his
sermon all over again!’ ”
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