Kids Bible
Quotes
Kids learn their Bible stories from parents, teachers in Sunday School, and sometimes from their big brother or big sister. And when a small child repeats the story they heard, sometimes they insert words they know, for the ones they have never heard of.
Kids Bible Quotes
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God tired of
creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an Apple tree. Noah's wife
was Joan of Ark. Noah built and ark out of gophers, and the
animals came in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball
of fire during the night.
Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a
Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Kids Bible Quotes
Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The seventh Commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery."
Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
Kids Bible Quotes
David was a Hebrew King who was skilled at playing the Liar. He found the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, on of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
When the three Wise Guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.
St. John the Blacksmith dumped water on His head.
Kids Bible Quotes
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
The Epistles were the wives of the Apostles.
One of the Opossums was St. Mathew who was also a taxidermist.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.