"On the first day, God created the cat." This is the story of how God created the cat. Where did cats come from? Clearly God created the cat for a purpose. And how did that come about? God sure must have a sense of humor since He created the cat. Like the rest of God's plan of creation, the story of the cat takes a similar path.
God's Creation of the Cat
On the first day of creation, God created the cat.
On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat.
On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy, and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but he had to scoop the litter box.
If Cats Could Talk
"Could you open the door for me, I want to go out? Actually, maybe I'll stay inside. No, I want to go out now. Yes, well, no. I could just stare at you holding the door for a moment, that would be distracting. Hey, a fly, I'll get him, come back here! Swat!
"Your eyes are getting heavy. You are feeling sleepy. You are entering into a dream state. Before you pass out completely, hand me your sandwich."
"So sorry about your hamster 'Buddy'. Yes, it was me. He was delicious." Meow.
"Me, um, no, that was the dog. Yeah, that's it. The dog did it! No really!"
What does it mean when a cat meows?
When your cat meows in the morning at your bedroom door, it means you have been selfish and cruel, and you would not let it sleep on your head last night.
When your cat meows in the morning when you head down the steps to the kitchen, it means, "Yes, I know where my food is, but I want you to walk me over to my bowl and watch me take my first bite."
When your cat meows as you grab your car keys and head to the garage, it means you have your priorities all wrong, you should be staying home to meet their every desire for fun and attention.
When your cat meows while you are away at work, it means something awoke them from their nap. It's usually a single, quiet meow, accompanied by a half opened eye, and if really necessary, a slight elevation of the head, to see what disturbed them. If only a breeze, a wisp of the air conditioning, or a slight movement of the plants, resuming the nap is appropriate. If there is rapid or repeated movement however, like that humming bird right outside the window, it could lead to immediate attention, cautious stalking, and that ku-ku-ku squeaking sound that means, "Hey, what's that! I'm going to get it!"
When your cat meows as you come home at the end of a hard day at work, you may think it means they missed you. This is a common misconception on the part of humans. What it really means is I want more food, I have an itch on my back and you need to scratch it, or I've had a hard day napping on the sofa alone, and I need your lap to make my day complete.
When your cat meows as you prepare dinner, then sit down to eat it, it means you have obviously made a mistake. You are clearly preparing their evening meal for them, and somehow you became confused and began eating it yourself. The correct response is for you to apologize, share your dinner, and wait until your cat is done eating to finish off the remaining food.
When your cat meows as you prepare for bedtime, it means you've forgotten whose house you are living in. It's very confusing to your cat why you would turn down the covers, then slide into their bed. They are willing to share however, as long as you remember your place in the family. Your best response is to relax, and try not to grimace too much when they knead their claws in your stomach, then curl up around your hair before going to sleep.
Why Cats are King (or Queen)
It's really not their faults. Cats are used to their independence. And their lineage includes ancestors worshiped in ancient Egypt and other cultures. It's only natural for them act like the King, or the Queen. Besides, they know they are very self-sufficient, able to hunt for themselves, yet they find so much more pleasure letting us do that work for them.
Admittedly, cats have raised playing, eating, and napping to an art form. Think about how much more energy you would have for eating and playing if you slept 21 hours a day. Every day. Week after week. And when it comes to playing, cats know how to have fun. They can play with a toy mouse, a real mouse, a picture of a mouse, or a stick that moves like a mouse. They can play with your fingers, your toes, your knees, and your nose. Cats have an unlimited capacity for fun. They eat ants and bugs, spiders and slugs, bats and birds, and the occasional rabbit or squirrel if it moves too slow.
Many cats are king, or queen, because, well, frankly, they are ultimately comfortable in their own skin! Could be a good lesson for us humans.