Fun in the Office
How much fun do you have at work? Do you annoy your co-workers? Who is the John Cleese or Eric Idle where you work? How exactly can you drive your co-workers crazy? Do you spend inordinate minutes, and hours, each day, plotting and planning unique and special pranks and jokes for your teammates?
Fun Things to Do in the Office
Photocopy things around the office, such as lamps, potted plants, staplers, etc. If someone asks about it, just say, "You never can be too careful."
Stare into someone's cubicle and pretend to be hypnotized by their screensaver.
Make the cubicle rounds with a roll of aluminum foil. Offer to "improve their cell phone reception" by wrapping foil around the base of their phone.
Give a secretary a copy of "Hamlet" and ask them to proofread it for you.
Use a hole punch to make holes in all your outgoing mail. Explain that the holes make it more aerodynamic.
Bring a TV remote control to the office and try to "change the channel" on people's computers. When it doesn't work, mumble something about it being too cheap, and you should have gotten the deluxe model.
Walk into people's office, taking a careful look around. Talk into your shirt, saying, "No sign of him yet, Chief."
Proudly show everyone your new calculator and hand out cigars. Tell them you computer just had a baby.
Whistle softly, "whi-who-wit" and then whisper softly, "the coast is clear" when passing by a cubicle with more than one person in it.
Choke up a bit and sob softly when someone visits your cube. A quivering lip is a good additive too. When they ask what's wrong, tell them, "I just know it's going to happen again. My computer is going to switch to the-blue-screen-of-death."
Create a "radar array" model using binder clips, pencils, and paper clips for the radar dish.
Set your shoes on the edge of your desk. Mumble about the Lava Flow under your desk from the volcano, and that you had to put on your asbestos knee boots to get any work done.
How to Drive Your Coworkers Nuts
Email the following instructions to your coworkers exactly as indicated:
"Click here to read this
link" (of course, do not include the hyperlink)
Then email these follow up notes:
"Sorry, forgot the hyperlink code, here it is" "Click here to read this link" (yes, of course, do not include the hyperlink again)
"Can you believe it, I forgot the hyperlink again, okay, here it is" "Click here to read this link" (yep, no hyperlink)
"Okay, okay, I got this. This time for sure" "Click here to read this link" (no hyperlink)
"I'm just gonna run out for a cup of coffee. Sometimes if I don't have my coffee I have a lot of trouble concentrating. Do you ever have days like that? Like, what are you doing right now? BTW, would you like to meet for lunch today? Oh, I dunno, where would you like to go? What? Oh, the hyperlink. Yes, it's right here. Somewhere. Just a minute, I've got it now."
"Okay, well, see, this is a really long URL address, so I need to copy it to you because you'll never find it otherwise. Here's the link"
"See, that wasn't so hard."