Forecasting a White Christmas and a Cold Winter
One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the upcoming Christmas was going to be white with snow, and if the winter was going to be cold or mild.
The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with reading signs from the natural world around them.
In truth, neither of them had any idea about how to predict the coming winter. However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, so he rang up the local National Weather Service office.
'Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer told the chief.
Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood.
A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.
'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.
As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.
A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. 'Yes,' he was told, 'it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.
The weatherman replied: 'Because the local Native American tribe is collecting wood like crazy.'
"I made myself a snowball, As perfect as could be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet And let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas. And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away. But first - it wet the bed!"
What To Give An Optimist And A Pessimist for Christmas
The Martin's had twin boys, Billy and Bobby. They only resembed each other in looks. If Billy felt it was too hot, Bobby thought it was too cold. If Billy said the TV was too loud, Bobby claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, Bobby Martin was an eternal optimist, while Billy Martin was a doom and gloom pessimist.
Just to see what would happen, at Christmas time their Dad loaded Billy the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game.
For Bobby, the optimist, he loaded his room with horse manure.
That night dad passed by the pessimist's room and found Billy sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
"Why are you crying Billy?" dad asked.
"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered Billy, the pessimist twin.
Passing the optimist twin Bobby's room, his dad found him dancing for joy in the pile of horse manure.
"What are you so happy about Bobby?" he asked.
To which Bobby, his eternal optimist twin replied"
"There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"