Competition. Between pilots? You bet. And do pilots have a sense of humor. Yes, double that, you bet, you bet. So imagine a conversation between an F16 fighter pilot and a C130 cargo aircraft pilot? Or conversations between aircraft pilots and aircraft mechanics.
Headstrong Young Pilot Meets Seasoned Pilot
An Air Force C-130 was flying on a mission when a cocky F-16 pilot flew up next to him.
The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "watch this !" and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.
The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that.
The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes, and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said "What did you think of that?"
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, "What did you do?"
The C-130 pilot chuckled, "I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the back, relieved myself, then got a cup of coffee and a sweet roll."
Any other questions?
And the moral of the story is . . .
When you are young and foolish, speed and flash may seem a good thing !
When you are older and smarter, comfort and dull is not such a bad thing!
We older folks understand this one.
Airplane Pilots and Airplane Mechanics Converse
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution logged by the mechanic.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in "altitude-hold" mode produces a 200-fpm
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
P: Transponder inoperative.
S: Transponder always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: The T/C ball seemed stuck in the middle during my last
S: Congratulations! You've just made your first coordinated turn.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Radio switches stick
S: Peanut butter no longer served to flight crew
P: Screaming sound in cabin at start-up
S: Company accountant deplaned
P: Funny smell in cockpit
S: Pilot told to change cologne
P: Aircraft 2,400 lbs over max weight
S: Aircraft put on diet of 92 octane
P: #3 engine knocks at idle
S: #3 engine let in for a few beers
P: #3 engine runs like it's sick
S: #3 engine diagnosed with hangover
P: Brakes howl on application
S: Don't step on 'em so hard!
P: Radio sounds like a squealing pig
S: Removed pig from radio. BBQ behind hangar tomorrow
P: First class cabin floor has a squeak
S: Co-pilot told not to play with toddler toys in cabin anymore
P: Electrical governor is broke
S: Paid off governor's debt to Jimmy "The Fish" Galvano
P: Air conditioning motor makes a loud squeal like my
S: Recommend divorce
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