California Governor vs. Texas Governor

Have you heard the story about the Governor of California and the Governor of Texas. Ever wonder about the different political philosophies of two of the largest states in the continental United States? It may be argued that California and Texas leaders have different world views. It may be a long topic of discussion, of why they differ at times. How each state governor deals with an unexpected problem, and their respective solutions.

California's Governor

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail when suddenly a coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

#1. The Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what comes natural.

#2. He calls animal control.  Animal control captures the coyote and spends $200 testing it for diseases, and an additional $500 to relocate it.

#3. He calls a Veterinarian for his dog. The Vet collects his dead dog and spends $200 testing it for diseases.

#4. The Governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote, and to get his bite wound bandaged.

#5. The running trail is shut down for 6 months while the wildlife services conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear of dangerous animals.

#6. The Governor spends $50,000 of state funds  implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.

#7. The State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better handle rabies, and how to possibly eradicate the disease.

#8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack and for letting the Governor intervene.

#9. The Cost: $75,000 to train new a security agent.

#10. PETA protests the coyote relocation and files suit against the state.


Texas' Governor

The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail when suddenly a coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

#1. The Governor shoots the coyote and keeps jogging.

The Governor has spent $0.36 on a .380 HP hollow point cartridge.   Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

What? Wait for it . . .

Any wonder why California is broke????

Texas, California, & Nevada Horse Riders 

A Texan, a Californian, and a Nevadan were out riding their horses. The Texan pulled out an expensive bottle of tequila, took a long draught, then another, and then suddenly threw it into the air, pulled out his gun and shot the bottle in midair.

The Californian looked at the Texan and said, "What are you doing? That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!! The Texan replied, "In Texas, there's plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap.

A while later, not wanted to be outdone, the Californian pulled out a bottle of wine, took a few sips, threw the half full wine bottle into the air, pulled out his gun, and shot it in midair.

The Nevadan couldn't believe this and said "What the heck did you that for? That was an expensive bottle of wine!

The Californian replied, "In California there is plenty of wine and bottles are cheap."

A while later, the Nevadan pulled out a bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. He opened it, took a sip, took another sip, then chugged the rest. He then put the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulled out his gun, turned, and shot the Californian.

The shocked Texan said "Why in the world did you do that?" The Nevadan replied, "Well, in Nevada we have plenty of Californians, and bottles are worth a nickel."

horse face

Potty Training in Southern California

Ever have one of those unbelievable public experiences with your young child?  It started out simply enough, shopping with my 3 year old son and 6 month old daughter. We stopped by Burger King for lunch before heading home for afternoon naps. The restaurant was crowded and waiting in line was enough of a challenge to end the morning.

As we sat down I began unwrapping my double cheeseburger when I smelled something funny. I checked my daughter’s diaper, no problem there. Then I looked at Mickey, knowing he was having trouble with his potty training. I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom.  He replied simply, “no”, and continued munching on his french fries.

As the smell continued, and seems to grow, I asked him again, “Mickey, did you have an accident?” At that, he jumped up, dropped his pants to the floor, bent over barring himself to the other patrons, looked at me and said, “no mommy, I just farted!”

As I wanted to hope into my Burger King sack and hide, an elderly gentlemen approached my son and said, “atta boy young man”, I’ve often been accused of that but never knew how to prove it before!

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