If Santa was a Lady

Ever wonder Christmas would be like if Santa was a lady? Yes, a female Santa? While it goes against all tradition, there are many reasons why a woman would enjoy, and benefit, from being Santa Claus.



Top 20 Reasons Why Women Would Love To Be Santa Claus

 

1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.

2. There would be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office.

3. You could grow a gut the size of Hawaii knowing it is all part of the job.

4. Just buy one big, black belt, and brass buckle, and you'd be accessorized for life.

5. There would be no reason to have your colors done.Santa Penguin cartoon

6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, regardless of your behavior.

7. If people comment that your belly jiggled when you laughed...like a bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with your purse.

8. You would always work in sensible footwear.

9. There would be no need to play office politics; a hearty ho-ho-ho would remind everyone who's boss.

10. You wouldn't need to buy an expensive briefcase.


Top 20 Reasons Women Would Love to be Santa continued . . .

11. No one would dare ask you for a ride to work.

12. You would never again have to wear pantyhose. YES!

13. You would not need to make trips to the vending machine.  You could just snack on milk and cookies all day long. (FOR FREE)!

14. You would never be asked to take an early retirement package.

15. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your children would adore you; even your teenagers would want to sit in your lap.

Santa motorcycle popping a wheelie

16. You would be guaranteed the best chair in the office.

17. Age discrimination would never be an issue again.

18. You would never grab the wrong coat on your way out the door.

19. No one would ask to see your job description.

20. And the elves would actually listen to your instructions with enthusiasm, instead of asking you to stop blocking the X-Box screen like your kids.


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