Stories and tales from Travel Agents. The Top 10 Reasons Americans Should Not be Allowed to Travel. Some folks would be much safer if they stayed at home. In fact, their fellow travelers would have a much better travel experience without them too. Read on and it will become clear why Americans should not be allowed to travel.
Ten Reasons American Should Not be Allowed to Travel
Funny Stories and Tales from Travel Agents
1. I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
3. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
4. I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they look so close on the map."
5. Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
Funny Stories and Tales from Travel Agents
6. A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
7. A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while "I looked into it," (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained that the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.
9. "A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
10. A woman called to make reservations. "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent asked, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal."
Where Would You Like to Travel?
"Thank you for calling our airline, how may I help you?"
“We’d like to go for a holiday somewhere.”
"I can help you with that. Where did you have in mind?”
“Oh I don't know. Someplace nice.”
"Okay. Would you prefer a city destination or perhaps a beach destination?”
“I don’t know. Anything goes.”
“Okay. how long a trip you were thinking? A weekend trip or maybe a longer trip, a week perhaps?”
“Well, we're not real sure.”
(Getting a bit frustrated already, yet trying something to
start with) “Okay, Do you have in mind when you’d like go
for the trip?”
“Not really. Any time is okay.”
(Very frustrated by now, but still being polite) “Okay, How
about you go for a nice weekend to Stockholm next weekend?”
“Well, actually we had a bit longer trip in mind and to some bit warmer destination. With a beach. And it has to be in September because that’s when we have our vacation.”
"Welcome to your flight. And I have a special announcement for all the children on board with us today. On behalf of your parents, we are nearly there, and we will be nearly there for the remainder of the flight. So sit back and relax. You won't need to ask your parents about it anymore."
"As we reach our cruising altitude of 35,000 feet, we'd like to remind everyone that for the comfort and convenience of all, this is a non-smoking flight. Anyone caught smoking will be asked to exit the aircraft immediately."
"The weather at our destination is rough with severe thunderstorms in the area. To better prepare yourself for the turbulence and landing, you are encouraged to cinch your seat-belt a bit tighter than usual, take a Dramamine if you have one, resist the urge to look out the windows, and have your air sickness bag at the readiness. Just in case."