Spending Time
Every Day is a Special
Occasion
My brother-in-law opened the
bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped
package.
"This," he said, "is not a
slip. This is lingerie."
He discarded the tissue and
handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a
cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was
still attached.
"Jan bought this the first
time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it.
She was saving it for a special
occasion. Well, I guess this is the
occasion."
He took the slip from me and
put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to
the mortician.
His hands lingered on the soft
material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
"Don't ever save anything for
a special occasion. Every day
you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores
that follow an unexpected death.
I thought about them on the
plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my
sister's family lives.
I thought about all the things
that she hadn't seen or heard or done.
I thought about the things that
she had done without realizing that they were special.
"Spending Time - Every Day is a
Special Occasion"
I'm still thinking about his
words, and they've changed my life.
I'm
reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the
view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.
I'm spending more time with my
family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Whenever possible, life should
be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying
to recognize these moments now and
cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we
use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a
pound, getting the sink
unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
I
wear my good blazer to the market if I like it. My theory is if I look
prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries
without wincing.
I'm
not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware
stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my
party-going friends.
"Someday" and "one of these
days" are losing their grip on my
vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and
hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she known that she
wouldn't
be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would
have called family members and a few close friends.
She
might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for
past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese
dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing - I'll never know.
It's
those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that
my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom
I was going to get in touch with -
"someday".
Angry
because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write - one
of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and
daughter often enough how much I truly love them.
I'm trying
very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add
laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when
I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.
Every day, every minute, every breath truly is... a gift from God.
"Spending Time - Every Day is a
Special Occasion"
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Time - Every Day is a Special Occasion
