Quotes from Actual
Resumes'
(Well, allegedly "actual")
"Let's meet so you can ooh and aah over my
experience."
"I was working for my mom until
she decided to move."
"I have an excellent track
record, although I am not a horse."
"Personal interests: Donating
blood. Fourteen dollars so far!"
"Note: Please don't misconstrue
my 14 previous jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job."
"Martial status: Often."
"Children: Various."
"I procrastinate, especially when the task is
unpleasant."
"References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me."
"Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to
work by 8:45 am, every morning. I could not work under those
conditions."
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