Quotes
from Actual Resumes'
(Well,
allegedly "actual")
"Let's
meet so you can ooh and aah over my experience."
"I
was working for my mom until she decided to move."
"I
have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
"Personal
interests: Donating blood. Fourteen dollars so far!"
"Note:
Please don't misconstrue my 14 previous jobs as job-hopping. I
have never quit a job."
"Martial
status: Often."
"Children:
Various."
"I
procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
"References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind
me."
"Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all
employees get to work by 8:45 am, every morning. I could not
work under those conditions."
