Kids Quoted in Church
A little
boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin
asked him, “How many women can a man marry?”
“Sixteen,” the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. ”How do you
know that?”
”Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the
Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.”
I had been teaching
my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several
evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the
prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened
with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end
of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation,"
she prayed,
"but deliver us from E-mail.
Kids Quoted in Church
(cont.)
After a church service on
Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother,
“Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up.”
”That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?”
”Well,” said the little boy, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and
listen.”
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord’s Prayer at a church
service: “And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who
passed trash against us.”
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. ”How do you
know what to say?” he asked.
”Why, God tells me.”
”Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?”
Kids Quoted in Church
(cont.)
A little girl became restless
as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to
her mother and whispered, “Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he
let us go?”
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny
sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked
him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “That priest
said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay
with you guys!”
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite
Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle’s picture, which showed four
people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to
represent.
”The flight to Egypt,” said Kyle.
”I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,” Miss. Terri
said. “But who’s the fourth person?”
”Oh, that’s Pontius-the Pilot.
The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly; do you
say prayers before eating?”
”No sir,” little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to. My Mom is a good
cook.”
A college drama group presented a play in which one character would
stand on a trapdoor and announce, ”I descend into hell!” A stagehand
below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the
character would plunge through.
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill,
another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new
actor announced, ”I descend into hell!” the stagehand pulled the rope,
and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount
of tugging on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: “Hallelujah! Hell is
full!”
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, “After a worship service at First
Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety
seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and
be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and
whispered, ‘If you don’t be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his
place and will have to start his sermon all over again!’ ”
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Quoted in Church
