God's Camera

The faith of a child. Innocent. Simple. Refreshing. Storms of life. Lightning. Thunder. Rain and Wind.And a child sees the hand of God in the lightning. Imagine the joys of life through the lens of a child.

"God is Taking My Picture"

Little Emily Marie walked to and from school daily, quite a feat for a second grader.

The weather this morning was questionable and clouds were forming, as she made her daily trek to the John Robinson Elementary School.

As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, and it began to thunder and lightning.

Emily Marie's mother Mary Beth was concerned that Emily would be frightened as she walked home from school, and she also feared that the electrical storm might be dangerous.

The lightning cut the sky like a flaming sword, followed by the booming thunder, with the intervals showing the storm was getting closer.

lightning storm crane

God's Camera

Full of concern, Mary Beth quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her daughter's school.

As she did so, she saw Emily Marie walking along, but at each flash of lightning, she would stop, look up and smile.

Another and another were to follow quickly and with each flash, her Emily Marie would stop, look at the streak of lightning, and smile.

When mom's car pulled up beside her little girl, she lowered the window and called to her:

"Emily Marie!"

"What are you doing?"

"Why do you keep stopping?"

Emily Marie answered:

"I am trying to look pretty."

"God keeps taking my picture."

A Child Explains the Bible

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, the Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve.  Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham.  Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

noahs ark cartoon

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast.  Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston.  Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people.  These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments.

These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.

One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament.  Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.').

sheep straw close up
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot.  Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus.  He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.

He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.



Read the NEXT Story



Thank you for visiting A Time to Laugh .org today.