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To
Everything There is a Season: . A Time to Weep, A Time to
Laugh.
Ecclesiastes 3
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Overheard on your
favorite airlines:
"Welcome aboard! To operate your seat belt, insert the metal
tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other
seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably
shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss
of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop
screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a
small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with
theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which
one you love more."
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 was out
of this airplane."
"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of a
water landing, please take them with our compliments."
"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to
switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but
please stay inside the plane until we land . . . it's a bit cold
outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
"Weather at our
destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to
have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves
you or your money more than we do!"
"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all you belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the crew. Please
do not leave children or spouses."
"Last one off the plane has to clean it!"
"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next
time you get an insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a
pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us."
# # #
Return HOME from Funny
Airline Announcements
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