Feminine Language
(Every man's guide to
understanding and fostering good communication with the
opposite sex)
FINE: This is the word we use
at the end of any argument when we know we're right, but we want you to
be quiet. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks.
FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour.
It is the equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is
going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING: This means something and you
should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the
feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and
backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five
Minutes" and end with a huffy "Fine".
GO AHEAD: (with raised eyebrows): This
is a dare, one that will result in the female getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a
word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men.
A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
over "Nothing".
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