F16 Pilot and C130 Pilot Challenge

Competition. Between pilots? You bet. And do pilots have a sense of humor. Yes, double that, you bet, you bet. So imagine a conversation between an F16 fighter pilot and a C130 cargo aircraft pilot? Or conversations between aircraft pilots and aircraft mechanics.


Headstrong Young Pilot Meets Seasoned Pilot

An Air Force C-130 was flying on a mission when a cocky F-16 pilot flew up next to him.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "watch this !" and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier

 The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that.

The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"

The C-130 droned along for about 10 minutes, and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said "What did you think of that?"

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, "What did you do?"

The C-130 pilot chuckled, "I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the back, relieved myself, then got a cup of coffee and a sweet roll."

"Any other questions?"

f16 military jet aircraft

And the moral of the story is . . .

When you are young and foolish, speed and flash may seem a good thing !

When you are older and smarter, comfort and dull is not such a bad thing !!

(We older folks understand this one.)

Airplane Pilots and Mechanics Conversations

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution logged by the mechanic.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order.

P: Autopilot in "altitude-hold" mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

airplane cockpit view of landing

Airplane Pilots and Mechanics Conversations

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution logged by the mechanic.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: Transponder inoperative.
S: Transponder always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: The T/C ball seemed stuck in the middle during my last turn.
S: Congratulations! You've just made your first coordinated turn.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Radio switches stick
S: Peanut butter no longer served to flight crew

young girl pilots hat

Airplane Pilots and Mechanics Conversations

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution logged by the mechanic.

P: Screaming sound in cabin at start-up
S: Company accountant deplaned

P: Funny smell in cockpit
S: Pilot told to change cologne

P: Aircraft 2,400 lbs over max weight
S: Aircraft put on diet of 92 octane

P: #3 engine knocks at idle
S: #3 engine let in for a few beers

P: #3 engine runs like it's sick
S: #3 engine diagnosed with hangover

P: Brakes howl on application
S: Don't step on 'em so hard!

P: Radio sounds like a squealing pig
S: Removed pig from radio. BBQ behind hangar tomorrow

P: First class cabin floor has a squeak
S: Co-pilot told not to play with toddler toys in cabin anymore

P: Electrical governor is broke
S: Paid off governor's debt to Jimmy "The Fish" Galvano

P: Air conditioning motor makes a loud squeal like my mother-in-law.
S: Recommend divorce 



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