Pillsbury Doughboy® Reaches Expiration Date

Pop N Fresh has died. After an early mixed career, this Pillsbury Doughboy began rising, and rose again and again after being punched down. With careful measurement, he had the right ingredients to become a well-known face in the kitchens of the world, and a leading advocate for honey and jam combinations.



Pop N Fresh Obituary

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.

Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years, in a lightly greased cookie tin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.

pop n fresh pillsbury doughboyThe graveside was piled with flours as long time friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded," and "who always held a warm place in all our hearts.

Fresh rose quickly in show business, and although his later life was filled with turnovers, he refused to be flattened by fate. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old biscuit, he was a roll model for millions.

Fresh was preceded in death by two wives: Sugar (who succumbed to diabetes in 1953) and Butterball (who died tragically in a fire in 1962) and is survived by his third wife, Honey. They have two children, Peanut and Chip, and one in the oven. (Fresh and his wife Butterball also have two grown children, John Dough and Jane Dough.)

Fresh is survived by his father, Pop Tart as well.

The funeral was held at 3:50 degrees for 16 minutes.



Cooking and Baking One Liners

"My favorite thing to make for dinner, is reservations."

"Happiness is when someone praises your cooking."

"I can cook anything as long as the Micro Wave has a button for it."

coffee cup glasses and newspaper

"My cooking is fabulous.  Even the smoke alarm cheers me on."

"This weekend's forecast is a ZERO Percent chance of cooking, or cleaning, with a good chance of laying around in my pajamas."

"Someone keeps putting vegetables in the beer crisper."

"I'm really bad at measuring spaghetti noodles.  Yes, we will be having leftover pasta for the next 11 nights too."

"When you meet someone who loves to cook, marry him right away before some other gal finds him."

"I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking."

"Take 2 cups of flour, 2 tablespoons of oil, half a cup of walnuts, a teaspoon of baking powder, 1 cup of sugar, stir until firm and sticky, spoon on to cookie sheet. And don't forget to turn the oven on if you don't want to each your cookie dough raw."

"You know you're getting old when you start to like the food you hated bechocolate chip cookiesfore."

"Happiness is watching the man of your life cooking for you."

"Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions. Chocolate understands."

"Annoying the cook will result in starvation."

"If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the frig?"

"Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the reason I have trust issues."

"Calories. \'ka-le-res'\.  Tiny little creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter each night."


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