Better save that. We'll need
it for the autopsy. Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a
mop. Wait a minute, if this more
. . .
The
Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail,
when suddenly a coyote jumps out and attacks his dog. more
. . .
As a bagpiper, I was asked by a
funeral director to play at a grave-side service for a homeless man
with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in
the Oklahoma back country. more
. . .
Celebrity Quotes "Researchers have discovered that
chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as
marijuana. The researchers also discovered other more
. . .
Everybody got off the plane
except one gentleman who was blind.
I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because
his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly more
. . .
Airline
Dictionary:
CARRY-ON BAGGAGE - An item of
unusually
large dimensions that only fits under the seat when traveling to your
destination, never on your return trip home. (Refrigerators,
motorcycles, console more
. . .
New Chemical
Elements:
Element: WOMAN Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: 135 (more or less,
usually more)
Element: MAN Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: 180 (+/- 100)
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of
shape when heated. Fairly dense and sometimes more
. . .
Funny
Airline Announcements: "Welcome aboard! To operate
your seat belt, insert the metal
tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other
seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably
shouldn't be out more
. . .
Have you ever met an obsessive
net surfer? You know, that buddy or girlfriend who
you used to hang out with, but seems locked in front of their computer
these days? Of course, with this more
. . .
These are the nominees for the
Chevy
Nova Award. This is given out of honor of GM's fiasco in
trying to market this car in Central and South America: "No
Va" more
. . .
More
"Professionals" in Action
"Where is the reference desk?"
(Asked of the Librarian
sitting at a desk
with a hanging sign above it saying: "REFERENCE DESK".
"Do you have a list of all more
. . .
Teacher or
Educator?
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick,
and
put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put
on
their lipstick, they would press their lips to more
. . .
Did you hear about the teacher
who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots?
He asked for help and she could see why. With her
pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the
second boot was on, she more
. . .
The pilot
is using a while cane, bumping into passengers as he walks down the
aisle, and the co-pilot is using a guide dog. Both have huge sunglasses
covering their eyes. At first the passengers don't more
. . .
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