Funny
People
How Old
are You . . . Exactly? more
. . .
I've
sure gotten old, but I'm aging
with humor! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't
hear anything quieter than more
. . .
You know it's
cold outside when the temperature is:
35
Italian cars don't start
32 Water freezes
30 You plan your vacation to Australia
25 Ohio water freezes & Californians weep more
. . .
The
Darwin Awards
One
day, the Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal
embedded into the side of a cliff which rose above the road at the apex
of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash - but
more
. . .
Friends
are like Wedgies: They know your inner self.
They're intimately
close, and it feels great when more
. . .
I was
signing the receipt
for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed that I had never
signed my name on the back of the credit card. He informed me that he
could not more
. . .
More Darwin
Awards: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the
safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a
pane with his shoulder and plunged more
. . .
Fun
with People:
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, paper, 99 copies.
Specify that your fast food drive through order is "to go".
Step on the little plastic more
. . .
From a
book called "Disorder
in the Court." These are things people actually said in
court, word for word, taken down and now more
. . .
FINE:
This is the word ladies use
at the end of any argument when we know we're right, but we want you to
be quiet. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman more
. . .
More
Funny People
A guy
buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator for
$42,500 and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend go duck
hunting in winter, . . . They drive out onto the lake ice and more
. . .
I have
recently been diagnosed
with AAADD
- Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder... This is how it
goes: I decide to wash the car. I start toward the
garage and notice the mail on more
. . .
From a travel
agent:
1. I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. 2.
A client called in more
. . .
Bachelors:
Most food
cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a
hamster in or near more
. . .
30 Years:
1973 - 2003
"Long hair" versus "Longing for hair"
"Moving
to California because it's cool" versus more
. . .
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