Funny People Stories

People are funny. People say and do funny things. How many great stories start out with "Hey guys, watch this!" How many times do you repeat a story, because you fell over laughing the first time you heard it? And what about life's most embarrassing moments?  Enjoy reading the stories of some funny people!

funny man with glasses closeup



Smartest Person in the World

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot . . . grabbed a parachute . . .

Not During Surgery

"Things you don't want to hear during surgery" - "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy." "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.  Wait a minute, . . . "

man eating a jelly donut

Blonde Pilot Emergency Landing

A young blonde pilot is beginning flying lessons and is in a two-seater airplane with just the instructor pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. The frantic young blonde calls out a May Day.  "May Day! May Day! Help  me! Help me! My instructor pilot had a heart attack and is dead, and I don't know  how to fly. I'm just learning to be a pilot.  Help me! Please help me!" . . .

You know it's coldice covered trees

You know it's cold outside when the temperature is:

California vs. Texas

A story of California and Texas Governors. Ever wonder about the different political philosophies of two of the largest states in the United States? It may be argued that California and Texas leaders look have different world views. It may be a long topic of discussion, of why they differ at times. Perhaps a simple story could illustrate how each state governor deals with an unexpected problem, and their respective solutions.

New Chemical Elements

New findings in the Chemical World adding new elements to the Peridic Table of Elements.

Aging should be fun

Funny ideas about aging health and growing older. I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.  Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license!



The Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards, for the uninitiated, are an unofficial hats off to people who keep the gene pool clean by removing themselves from it creatively, in the most extraordinarily stupid ways. A past Darwin Award winner for example, was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine - it toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.

Have Fun with People

Have some good ole fun with people! And copy machines? Or ketchup packets? Or orange traffic cones? Or how about having fun with people and a hair drier.

Duck Hunting in the Cold of Winter

A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500 and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, . . .  They drive out onto the lake ice and  . . .

Disorder In The Court

Sometimes it's unbelievable what people will say, especially in a court of law. What they will say when under oath. And even, what the lawyers say in the first place.

AAADD

I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder... This is how it goes . . .

Travel Agent Tales

Travel agents have alot of funny stories. Seems some folks just have trouble when they travel, and of course, it must clearly be someone else's fault or oversight.

Funny Airline Announcements:

"Welcome aboard! To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out . .

A C-130 and an F-16 Pilot

An Air Force C-130 was flying on a mission when a cocky F-16 pilot flew up next to him.  The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "watch this !" and promptly went into a barrel roll and . . .

Taxes

Paying taxes is not funny. . .

friends are like wedgies

Bachelors food tips:

Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in or near  . . .

Abraham DOT com   

An old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walked up to a stone pulpit and said, “And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham.Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.”  And Dot Com was a comely  . . .

People can be so silly

Like the silly people at this fast food restaurant: I went inside a national fast food restaurant and ordered 2 ice cream cones. I was asked if they were for here or to go and said 'What difference does it make?' The girl behind the counter said 'I can't let you have them if you don't answer my question'. I said 'One is for here and one is to go'. I then paid for the 2 cones and left.

Final word on dieting nutrition and health

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies about eating habits at home, at work, and dining out. This international studies looks are people from around the world.

The New Employee Handbook:

SICK DAYS. We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


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