1st
baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you
put it away until you can
go home and wash and
boil it. 2nd
baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you
squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 3rd
baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and more
. . .
Now I
lay me down to sleep, I pray
the Lord my shape to keep.
Please
no wrinkles, please no bags, And
please lift my butt before it sags. Please no age spots, please no gray, more
. . .
A woman
was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle
the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the
phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to more
. . .
George
and his wife Bessie went to the county fair every year. This was their
"big" event of the year. In fact, it was the closest thing they ever
had to a vacation. And each year more
. . .
My mother
taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just more
. . .
When
our lawn mower
broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I
should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take
care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something more more
. . .
An old
country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was
so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one
was home except for the laboring mother and more
. . .
The average
parent has eaten their weight in Girl
Scout Cookies. The average parent has at least 2 pizza
delivery companies on their more
. . .
Finally
a Barbie
I can relate
to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her
and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic... more
. . .
Over
breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't
know what day this is?" "Of course I do," he indignantly
answered, going out of the door more
. . .
More
Family Matters
One
thing I can't remember
when I stand at the foot of the stair, Was I going up more
. . .
As ham
sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a
fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet
mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I
carried it to more
. . .
0
Susanna, 0 don't you cry for me, For I come from Alabama with a
band-aid on my knee!
more
. . .
If you
spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades,
they can ignite. more
. . .
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