Twas the Night Before the
Computer Programmer's
Christmas
Twas
the night before Christmas, and all through the shop,
The computers were whirring; they never do stop.
The power was on and the temperature right,
In hopes that the input would feed back that night.
The system was ready, the program was coded,
And memory drums had been carefully loaded;
While adding a Christmasy glow to the scene,
The lights on the console, flashed red, white and green.
When
out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
The programmer ran to see what was the
matter.
Away to the hallway he flew like a
flash,
Forgetting his key in his curious dash.
He stood in the hallway and looked all
about,
When the door slammed behind him, and he
was locked out.
Then, in the computer room what should
appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny
reindeer;
And a little old man, who with scarcely
a pause,
Chuckled: "My name is Santa...the last
name is Claus."
Computer Programmer's
Christmas (cont).
The
computer was startled, confused by the name,
Then it buzzed as it heard the old
fellow exclaim:
"This is Dasher and Dancer and Prancer
and Vixen,
And Comet and Cupid and Donner and
Blitzen."
With all these odd names, it was puzzled
anew;
It hummed and it clanked, and a main
circuit blew.
It searched in its memory core, trying
to "think";
Then the multi-line printer went out on
the blink.
Unable to do its electronic job,
It said in a voice that was almost a
sob:
"Your eyes - how they twinkle - your
dimples so merry,
Your cheeks so like roses, your nose
like a cherry,
Your smile - all these things, I've been
programmed to know,
And at data-recall, I am more than
so-so;
But your name and your address
(computers can't lie),
Are things that I just cannot identify.
Computer Programmer's
Christmas (cont).
You've
a jolly old face and a little round belly,
That shakes when you laugh like a bowl
full of jelly;
My scanners can see you, but still I
insist,
Since you're not in my program, you
cannot exist!"
Old Santa just chuckled a merry "ho,
ho",
And sat down to type out a quick word or
so.
The keyboard clack-clattered, its sound
sharp and clean,
As Santa fed this "data" to the machine:
"Kids everywhere know me; I come every
year;
The presents I bring add to everyone's
cheer;
But you won't get anything - that's
plain to see;
Too bad your programmers forgot about
me."
Then he faced the machine and said with
a shrug,
"Merry Christmas to All," as he pulled
out its plug!
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