A Child's View of Life
A woman
was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle
the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the
phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle.'
A little boy got lost at the
YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted,
the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running
for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's
the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
As a Police Office, while
taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued
writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask
the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well,
then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please
tie my shoe?'
It was the end of the day when
I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my
equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy
staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I relied. Puzzled, the boy looked at
me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he
said, 'What'd he do?'
While
working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
A
little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You
know it always gives you a
headache the next morning.'
A
little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just
wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write,
and they won't let me talk!'
A
little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look
what I
found, ' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?'
With as
tonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's
Adam'sunderwear!'
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