Barbie
comes of age.
Finally
a Barbie I can relate to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie
dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a
bit more realistic...
Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens
fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain
and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie’s bellybutton and watch
her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear
on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.
Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie’s hormone levels shift,
see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and
magnifying mirror.
Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie’s droopy triceps with
these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front,
too – muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.
Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels
have definitely taken their toll on Barbie’s dainty arched
feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then
slip on soft terry mules.
No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow’s-feet
and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie’s
own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader
is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school
megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in
robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes
and fruit punch.
Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up
with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead
of dance steps. Clean and sober, she’s going to meetings
religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a
six-pack of Diet Coke.
Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when
she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She
is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube,
clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex.
As a bonus this year, the book “Getting In Touch with Your
Inner Self” is included.
