Barbie comes of age.
Finally a Barbie I can relate
to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her
and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...
Bifocals Barbie.
Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild
colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue
and Martha Stewart Living.
Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie’s
bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of
perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny
tissues.
Facial Hair Barbie.
As Barbie’s hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with
teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror as Barbie comes of age.
Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie’s
droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the
tummy front, too – muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.
Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing
in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie’s dainty
arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then
slip on soft terry mules.
No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. You too can
erase those pesky crow’s-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin
Sparkle-Spackle, just like when Barbie comes of age, from Barbie’s own
line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience
as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high
school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in
robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and
fruit punch.
Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have
finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve
Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she’s going to meetings
religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of
Diet Coke.
Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie
wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and
cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching
the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and
Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book “Getting In Touch with Your
Inner Self” is included.
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Comes of Age
