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To
Everything There is a Season: . A Time to Weep, A Time to
Laugh.
Ecclesiastes 3
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Airline Dictionary
CARRY-ON BAGGAGE - An item of unusually
large dimensions that only fits under the seat when traveling to your
destination, never on your return trip home. (Refrigerators,
motorcycles, console TVs and Toyotas are not considered acceptable
carry on baggage.)
FLIGHT SCHEDULE - An entertaining fictional work designed to provide a
place for adverting copy of related businesses.
PRE-BOARD - Any passenger who needs assistance with boarding, who
arrives at the gate 5 minutes before departure time.
PASSENGER - A herding creature of widely varying intelligence, usually
found in pairs or small groups. They are sometimes known to become
vicious and violent in simple, easily rectified situations. When
frightened or confused, creatures collect into a group called a line .
. . with no set pattern, often formed in very inconvenient places.
Passengers often fall into one of four known species: Paxus Iratus,
Paxus Latus, Paxus Inebriatus, or Paxus Stupifi.
SIGN - An
airport decoration which usually goes unnoticed except by small
children.
A T C - A game played by pilots and air traffic controllers. Neither
group knows the rules, but it is played to prevent flights from being
on time.
"THIS POSITION CLOSED" - "CLOSED" - or "NEXT POSITION" - A ticket
counter sign interepreted by passengers to mean: "Form Line Here".
FOG - A natural weather phenomenon usually occurring around airports
while surrounding areas are clear. Fog is controlled by airlines to
delay flights.
TICKET AGENT - A superhuman with the patience of a saint, the herding
ability of a pack of pedigree Australian sheepdog, the understanding of
a psychoanalyst, the extra-sensory abilities of Uri Geller, the tact of
Henry Kissinger, mystical abilities to control wind, rain, and fog, and
the ability to answer 3 questions at the same time out of 1 mouth. In
later life, usually seen in bars or carrying on mysterious
conversations with themselves in parks and rest homes.
# # #
Return HOME from Airline
Dictionary
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